Yes, relationships take a lot of work and can be very difficult, but they are also extremely rewarding and fulfilling
The diversity we find now in the Church may be just the beginning. Frankly, I think we’ll see greater and greater diversity. In the ancient church there was tremendous diversity.
So on the one hand, we’ve got to be better as a people at receiving and helping and walking together with everybody, and on the other hand, every individual needs to be determined that they’re going to have a place in the kingdom of God. They’re going to have a place in the body of Christ. And others who are thoughtless or careless or worse can’t prohibit that, can’t drive them away, can’t take it away from them” (emphasis added).
Rising together
A new day is dawning. The time when LDS singles needed to have the mark of belonging to the Church community to get the help they need is dying. Rising is a time when true disciples of the Lord reach out and bring all willing to make covenants with God together in a grand, diverse unity of the faith.
Single and married will be situations, not identities. And the culture we embrace and promote will center on the Savior, He Who spilt His precious blood so that all of us could be redeemed.
The time has come for us to walk together. The time has come for us to embrace a true unity of the faith. The time has come for us to be true disciples of Christ and start building the Kingdom for real. The time has come for us to change the culture.
Sure, single life LOOKS easy, but think back to what it was really like for you before you got married. Living by yourself, cooking for yourself, watching movies by yourself, wondering if you were going on vacation by yourself. Stop saying the grass is greener and worry about mowing your own lawn.
Jeff Hill is also an experienced BYU professor. He has tily finance and organizational skills to over 15,000 since 1998. His academic research examines the interface of work, finances and family life. He has authored or co-authored seven books and more than 100 scholarly articles and book chapters on these topics. Dr. Hill has a masters degree from the Marriott School of Business at BYU, and a dily Science from Utah State University. He is a respected teacher and colleague for the School of Family Life at BYU, a beloved father, stepfather and grandpa, and most importantly, the whole enchilada for Tammy.
I would not encourage the LDS leadership to get involved in arranging marriages etc. as sometimes happened in the early days – too easy to exercise unrighteous dominion and violate agency. However, to remove the severe penalties currently enforced (note: LDS people choose to practice polygyny today are immediately excommunicated as a rule according to the policy in Handbook 1) and allow the biblical principles (ironically, those restored and practiced by Joseph Smith himself) including polygyny to again be accepted by the church, this would result in a grand reunion between the mainstream LDS church and so many fundamentalist break off groups. It would provide the opportunity for people to live according to God’s inspiration and revelation in their marital relationships, a climate which has been absent since 1890. Removing the stigma against polygyny – by removing the extreme penalties enforced by LDS policy currently in place – would be a huge step in the right direction for all of Mormonism/Restorationism.
The deferral of the issue of temple garments is not only a reflection of their sacred status among church members (it is in general considered inappropriate to speak about temple garments to non-members, and is considered offensive to display visual representations of them)-it is also indicative of these women attempting to find a place in mainstream fashion discourse; to not be noticed for their wardrobe restriction but for their good sense of style. The rhetoric of these blogs might be condensed as such: “I am reflecting an internal commitment to God in my physical appearance, but I do this so well that you would not notice unless I told Ryska postbeställningsbrudar you explicitly.” This rhetorical mechanism seems to operate to ease the tension between competing modesty discourses I have outlined above: these bloggers can take personal, inner pride in their commitment to modesty without bringing attention to their difference (and thus translating pride of self into the public sphere). Counterintuitively, this is accomplished by assimilating successfully into the fashionable discourse of the mainstream.
Not so today. Mormon women increasingly define modesty in terms of explicit clothing guidelines (inseam lengths, coverage) rather than cultural association; no longer is clothing a statement of conservative reaction to the styles of counterculture but instead a playful interpretation of them. Cultural associates of modes of dress cease to be called into question within this dialogue; instead, the temple garment becomes the silent marker of how much skin is “too much.” Anything that covers these undergarments constitutes modest dress.
His father and his best friend conspire to force him to attend a Singles dance where everything goes wrong, but he meets a sweet, charming woman, Emily, whom he eventually begins dating. Soon, though not quickly enough to suit his father, Todd and Emily become engaged. His two younger children adore Emily, but the blackmailing diva does everything she can to sabotage the relationship including pushing her father to choose between her and his fiance. Todd caves in, breaks the engagement, and more problems ensue.
It is a difficult question for many reasons. I don’t feel comfortable saying either “yes it is fine” or “no you better not.” Whether or not it is right for you depends on many things, including your own beliefs, the feelings of your close family and friends, the views of your BF’s close family, friends, community, etc. I know it may not sound right to include so many people in a saying is we don’t live in a vacuum and we need to be fully prepared for how those people close to us will react to our decisions. I would suggest you take enough time to consider every situation that may follow (at least as many as you can come up with), how it will feel to you and how you e exercise to your BF.
For someone who wants to remain fully active in the LDS Church, marrying someone who is not a member is risky – but it absolutely can work for the right people with the right attitude and without conversion expectations. My advice is simply to study it out in your heart and in your mind, pray about it and go with the dictates of your own conscience.
FYI: Here’s a list of the speed dating questions I used. Feel free to print them out and use them for your own activity!
